Embracing Change by Kirsten Hope CBP, CHt.

Messages from the Hawk

In my last post I wrote about looking for symbols as a way of enhancing insight and intuition.  I recently had an experience that shows just how to take this approach and utilize it in real life.

For the sake of planning (and to allow myself to sink into nature) I usually follow the same basic path on my morning walks.  This morning was no different and I set out to take a walk I have taken many times before.  Usually I listen to an inspirational message or music that keeps me grounded and connected to Spirit.  However, today I just felt like walking in silence.

As I got to the top of the mountain I felt a strong urge to sit in the grass and pray.  This was quite surprising to me since I'm allergic to grass (it make me itchy and blotchy) and I normally don't do any personal spiritual work in public.  Yet the feeling was so irresistible!  So sit I did and pray I did.  I asked for guidance and help for a situation where I was feeling powerless and overwhelmed.  I asked for signs that I am on the right track, and inspiration to take the path that would lead me in the way of my soul. 

When I felt complete I continued on my way.

As I headed down the trail I heard a ruckus in the bushes next to me.  Out swooped a huge hawk!  It flew right in front of me then up onto a branch high in a tree.  The hawk sat there watching as I walked by.  Keeping my eye on the hawk I continued on my way, curious and incredulous that this bird came so close to me.  I knew this hawk was meant to deliver a message to me.  This was too rare of an occurrence to be chalked up to coincidence (which I don't believe in anyway).  But what was the message?

Well, here is where the fun begins.  I came home and began to research hawk symbolism from various traditions.  What I found is that the hawk symbolizes visionary power, the messenger, and wisdom-in-action.  With its keen eyesight the hawk reminds us to keep our eyes open and notice the details that we typically overlook.  Researching even deeper the hawk can also be seen as symbolizing death.

With this in mind I began to consider my current challenges through the symbolism of the hawk.  Was his message to stay true to my vision for myself and in that I will find my answers?  Was his presence an actual sign that Spirit heard my plea, the Hawk acting as messenger for this?  Am I a messenger for something?  And where am I being short sighted, losing my ability to see the bigger picture or the details?  And as a symbol of death, is is possible a part of my ego is dying to a more beautiful whole can emerge?  These are just a few of the questions whose answers have given me clarity on how to proceed in these challenging times.

There are countless possibilities to explain Hawk's presence in my life.  Experience has shown me that often messages come (to me) via animals and "strange" interactions with them.  Yet if I wasn't paying attention or allowing myself solitude to consider their meaning these beautiful passages to my intuition would simply turn into a story to tell at parties.  Coincidences at best.

As so it is with you.  Your intuition speaks to you in  many ways.  Sometimes it is loud and obvious.  Other times it can be more subtle yet insistent.  Either way, all it takes is a willingness to notice, be playful, and in all aspects stay curious.

Enjoy!

Coincidence? I don't think so!

Last weekend I coordinated a local BodyTalk Class.  I've done this many times, but this time there were an unusual amount of glitches.  For example, the manuals didn't arrive, students canceled at the last minute, and a couple of our demo subjects didn't show up for their appointments.

As first I was frustrated and felt myself taking is personally, wondering what I could have done differently so these events didn't happen.  Yet as I was describing the weekend I heard the events from a different perspective.

From a blow-by-blow account, the theme of these situations became clear and an opportunity to learn about my own life was upon me.  What I discovered was each of these uncomfortable events carried a common theme of people not showing up or following through on their commitments.

Sure I could have thrown up my hands in exasperation and blame, but instead I found myself asking, "Why are these situations happening in my life now?"  "What is the hidden message that I can learn from?"  "where am I not showing up in my life?"  "What commitments am I breaking?"  "How can I use this experience for insight and growth?"

It's tempting to go through your daily routines on autopilot.  Or to chalk up difficult circumstances as a fluke, bad luck, or to just plain complain about them.  I do it myself!  But I challenge you to look at the lessons tucked in the pocket of your everyday living; to step into the light of curiosity, creativity, and surprise.

As you get started, here are a few places to look:

• A common phrase or word you find yourself repeating
  • "I lost my grocery list", "Our team lost the game", "I want to lose 10 pounds"
  • These comments point towards the themes of: loss, letting go, new beginnings, defeat, etc.
• Different situations that carry a similar theme
  • You notice your dog barking a lot.  You're losing your temper.  You're reluctant to answer the phone.
  • Common themes:  communication, defending boundaries, expression, anger, protection
• Repetitive symbols in your environment
  • Color - Are you suddenly drawn to a particular color?  Is a certain color suddenly "arriving" in your life?
    • Colors carry their own unique vibration.  How does this color make you feel?  How does it correlate to the chakras?
  • Shapes and Objects - A ring catches your eye while shopping.  You take a walk around the block.  you get lost and find yourself "driving in circles".
    • The circle is significant in nature, the cycles of life, ritual, astrology, plus more.  Are you beginning a new cycle or ending one?  Are you in a repetitive cycle in your life?
  • Activity
    • Pay attention to the activities that catch your eye.  You are driving by a school yard with children playing.  You notice two dogs playfully chasing a ball.  A child asks to play a game with you.
    • Common themes here are playfulness and freedom.  How is play present in your life?  Are you playing to much or not at all?  What does this mean to you?
  • Themes in the lives of people around you
    • You overhear friends talking about money.  Are you concerned about money in your life?
    • Three people at work mention vacation they're taking.  What does this trigger for you?  Are you taking time for yourself?  Do you need a vacation from something?

Have some fun with this!  And remember, the answers aren't as important as the questions.

Enjoy!

Hot Tubs, Naps, and Podcasts...

A couple of years ago I was at a dinner party where one of the guests asked me, "What are you passionate about?"  What a wonderful conversation starter for a dinner party!  I was so pleased to be with someone who actually wanted to talk about something beyond gossip, celebrities, or politics.

Passionate - adj.
1.  having or showing strong feelings  2. hot tempered  3. ardent; intense  4. sensual
Webster's New Dictionary and Thesaurus

And so I share with you here, the things I'm passionate about.  You'll find it's not a very serious list which also tells you a bit about me.  And I ask you to consider, what are you passionate about?

• Hearing people's stories - how they got to where they are (fascinating!)
• Talking on the phone to my sister
• My family, especially my kids and my husband
• Lipstick
• Finding the perfect pair of black shoes
• Reading, reading, reading
• Podcasts! (My favorite:  This American Life by Ira Glass)
• Being surprised when science confirms what we already knew but couldn't prove
• istockphoto.com - hands down the best source for graphics and photos
• Seeing a situation from another point of view
• Hearing stories of spontaneous healing or paranormal events from people I know
• Comfortable couches
• Naps
• Sleeping in
• Jeans that fit
• Swimming - not laps, just being in the water for fun
• Hot tubs
• Food - all kinds, the bad kind, the good kind - it all has a place in my life
• My five o'clock beer while making dinner
• Being surprised by people
• Good music that hits the sweet spot of my mood
• Smiles
• Hot showers
• Things that smell good
• The colors blue, magenta, gold, and red
• Boating - fast boats on big waves!
• Waking my kids up in the morning

Thoughts from a Reformed Goal Setter

I am amazed at the attention New Year's Resolutions get this time of year.  Resolutions are talked about in comic strips, magazine articles, the local news programs, even in class curriculum.  I hate it.  I always feel negligent because I never set New Year's Resolutions.  Nor do I want to!  In fact, I've never understood the fascination of picking apart last year for things I could have done better and promising not to make those same mistakes again.

And call them what you want, resolutions or goals - they all leave a bad taste in my mouth.  This isn't something I normally talk about.  Especially in my line of business where self-development and setting goals are the bread and butter of success.  But hear me out.

Last year I had the great fortune to work with a friend of mine in opening a BodyTalk clinic here in Portland.  This was a very exciting time!  Spending afternoons dreaming, planning, and considering all the "what ifs" was a delight and challenge to my creativity and business skills.

Yet the further we got into the project, the sicker my stomach felt.  As time went on and plans were made it began to dawn on me that this could very well turn into a really bad decision.  IBut I couldn't put my finger on why.

On one hand it felt really good to think of a bigger space that would serve my clients in a more well-rounded way.  It was going to be fun sharing space with like-minded people.  Not to mention the fun of playing house with a new space.  But on the other hand, it just didn't feel right.  I found myself giving several excuses for why I was dragging my feet: none of the locations were quite right, it was going to cost too much money, there was something wrong with my business partner, and so on.

And because I couldn't put my finger on why exactly I didn't want to proceed, I did just that.  Proceed.  Up until the day we were to give the final go-ahead on our new space when I finally spilled the beans. I finally told my partner how I was feeling and that I wanted out.  And as you can imagine, there were a lot of hurt feelings, anger, and conversations about what went "wrong".   But I still didn't have words to support my feelings.  And in business most people don't appreciate it when something "just doesn't feel right".  In fact, it makes them mad.

As time went on I finally narrowed it down to something very simple.  It happened during one of the last conversations my partner and I had about the clinic.  She shared how this had been her dream since she started her practice.  She had envisioned herself in a clinic setting for years.  She knew exactly what she wanted.

As she shared her dream I realized I DON'T want to know what I am doing five years from now.  In committing myself to a five year lease I felt like I was selling my soul's freedom to evolve.  By committing to a partnership and a new, more expensive location I would have been limiting my freedom to take time off, evolve as a practitioner, and make decisions because it "felt right".  This expansion, at this time in my life felt more like a job than a dream.

Yes, I eventually want a bigger space, camaraderie, and new exciting experiences for my clients and myself.  But this wasn't the way to get it.  Not by a long shot.  I don't consider this endeavor a failure though.  As a result of this experience I discovered the following: a more accurate picture of what I do want for my customers and myself, how to negotiate a lease, work with construction companies, and set up a partnership - and in this way it was a pure success.

But how do we improve our lives without setting goals or making commitments?

The one practice that has made the biggest impact on my ability to move forward is to evaluate how I feel at the end of the year.  Do I feel accomplished, proud, peaceful, invigorated?  Do I feel like I stretched for good reasons?  There are all excellent signs that I'm reaching for my dreams (even if I don't know what they are).

Then, in quieter moments (driving in the car, drinking my morning coffee before the kids get up) I consider the essences of what I want for the next year.  For 2008 its fun, love, freedom, adventure, and prosperity.  These essences then work as a homing device that keeps me growing and evolving towards building a healthy, abundant life.  But the very worst thing for me to do is to pre-determine exactly how these essences will be fulfilled.

Throughout the year instead of checking my resolution list I ask myself how close am I to feeling my desired essences on a daily basis?  What can I do today, this week, this month to bring more of what I want into my life?

And sometimes, just for fun I look back on where I was 6 months ago and follow the trail to where I am now.  And every time I do, I find myself saying, "Huh, I would have never guessed this is what I'd be doing".  But whatever it is, it is always better than what I could have envisioned for myself way back when.

Watching TV on Thanksgiving

My family spent the Thanksgiving holiday at my sister's house.  My mom and mother-in-law joined us.  Of all the adult men, Jeff (my husband) spent the most time hanging out with the family and being social.  But on Friday he did the opposite.  He spent the entire day in the TV room laying on the couch and sleeping or watching TV.  And to top it off, his mother did this too.  That audacity of it!  (or so I thought...)

I was so confused by this behavior and was pretty annoyed that they were being so anti-social.  But what I've come to realize is that they just couldn't take the energy of my family anymore!  We (me, my mom, and sister) have a much more intense and jagged energy compared to Jeff's family.  His family's (especially Jeff and his mom) is much calmer and gentle.  In addition to this, Jeff is very sensitive to other people's vibrations which leaves him vulnerable when there's a bunch of intense energy people (like my family) in one place.  He's done a great job of filtering my vibrations, but multiply me by three, and well, you get the picture.

And then it dawned on my that my sister and I diffuse our energy by talking (like lifting the lid off a pot so it doesn't boil over) whereas Jeff diffuses his energy by retreating (taking the pie out of the oven to cool off).  I've never seen this as clearly as I did this weekend.  And I'm so thankful for it.

I've always been critical of Jeff for his tendency to withdraw from me.  You can imagine my surprise when I realized that this is actually the best thing for him.  Which is funny because I'm always nagging him to take better care of himself!

Lesson learned?  Next time you (or I) feel the need to tell someone what we think is best for them, hold up.  Take a moment to watch what happens.  They might actually know what they're doing!