My family spent the Thanksgiving holiday at my sister's house. My mom and mother-in-law joined us. Of all the adult men, Jeff (my husband) spent the most time hanging out with the family and being social. But on Friday he did the opposite. He spent the entire day in the TV room laying on the couch and sleeping or watching TV. And to top it off, his mother did this too. That audacity of it! (or so I thought...)
I was so confused by this behavior and was pretty annoyed that they were being so anti-social. But what I've come to realize is that they just couldn't take the energy of my family anymore! We (me, my mom, and sister) have a much more intense and jagged energy compared to Jeff's family. His family's (especially Jeff and his mom) is much calmer and gentle. In addition to this, Jeff is very sensitive to other people's vibrations which leaves him vulnerable when there's a bunch of intense energy people (like my family) in one place. He's done a great job of filtering my vibrations, but multiply me by three, and well, you get the picture.
And then it dawned on my that my sister and I diffuse our energy by talking (like lifting the lid off a pot so it doesn't boil over) whereas Jeff diffuses his energy by retreating (taking the pie out of the oven to cool off). I've never seen this as clearly as I did this weekend. And I'm so thankful for it.
I've always been critical of Jeff for his tendency to withdraw from me. You can imagine my surprise when I realized that this is actually the best thing for him. Which is funny because I'm always nagging him to take better care of himself!
Lesson learned? Next time you (or I) feel the need to tell someone what we think is best for them, hold up. Take a moment to watch what happens. They might actually know what they're doing!
